I woke up this morning, crying and nursing a heavy feeling in my heart. Because I had another dream of me running away and people say it means I want to escape from something and I think I believe it. Because I remembered the great moment I had yesterday, swimming with my buddy D and my Banana, and I miss them terribly, an almost aching feeling I feel in my heart. Because I drifted to sleep last night hoping that soon M will ask me out on a date or a quick getaway but I know he won’t. And because in a week’s time, I will be leaving people I’ve learned to love for two years and eight months to do something I have to, for myself. I know that life is one big lesson in letting go but it seems that I will never learn.
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Hello and welcome!
I'm P and I'm currently spending a great deal of time enjoying teaching, lomography and biking. I love rain but we're getting too much of it already so now I'm missing summer. I dream of going to Italy and I don't think it'll ever go away. I now have two instant cameras (a polaroid and a fuji instax) and I am poor. Recently, i have been quite obsessed with the thought of buying another lomo, the LC-A+. But because I am poor, it will remain as an obsession. I write according to my mood and current state of mind. I rarely force myself to sit, think and write. I am a preschool teacher by profession but to my little tots, I am a mom/clown/entertainer. I am not a pet-lover but i would love to own a beagle in the future. -
Today...
August 11, 2008 - i'm home, sick. :( everyday inspiration
other petunias in the onion patch
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blog hits
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Meta
April 19, 2008 at 9:41 pm
i just have to say, i think it’s a bad thing to get used to letting go. i used to be like that, and now i realize that all i did was to teach myself how to be detached. to not care too much. and to pretend that i can do everything on my own. you’re one of the strongest people i know, and part of that is because you care. wub you.Ü
April 19, 2008 at 11:55 pm
i think your friend camsie has said it. and i know you’ll make it. hugs!
April 20, 2008 at 9:27 pm
@camsie - thank you so much, i never looked at it that way. i’ve always resented that i get too attached, that i care too much even if i don’t want to, and i tell myself to help it as long as i can because of fear that i will feel hurt in the end. thank you for making me realize that there’s strength in caring even if it may sometimes hurt.
wub you too camsie!
April 20, 2008 at 9:27 pm
@ris - hug you back! di pa din tayo nag-d-date