not because it’s the month of hearts

I teared up reading a blog post about “love letters” today. I do not remember having any regrets in my lifetime until now, after realizing that I threw away love letters of a past love. I do not even remember the real reason why I did it. Maybe because I had a new love and throwing away past memories meant letting go of the past in order to fully embrace the now and the future.

I have moments when I wish I had something to read, something that could bring me back to a time when I was naïve, unsure and scared and yet I took the leap of loving someone and that someone did the same for me - not because I want to bring back the person or the relationship but because when you’ve experienced only good memories, it’s nice to have something to bring you back. But the best thing about letters is evenif you lose some, you continue to gain some. It may be different or not as many but still, someone is bound to appreciate you and like you, or better yet, love you.

Since then, I have kept love letters that I receive. There are sincere ones, silly ones, funny ones, mind-boggling ones, even those that will just make the hair at the back of your neck rise from utter yucky-ness. But yes, they are all tucked away in a big box in my bottom drawer, waiting to be read once in a while. But there’s this small box that I keep in a special place, filled with less than twenty simple but genuinely sincere love letters from a man who expresses himself in writing very seldom. And out of the twenty, it’s the very first one he gave that writes “Hi. I just though of you today.” that beats the rest.

So now, no matter how spontaneous, silly or nonsensical the love letters I receive are, there is no way in the world that I am going to throw them away. Everything is for keeps.

And no matter how high-tech and fast-paced our world becomes, I will still find time to write love letters.